Q: Dear Mean Mom;
My 13 year old son and 11 year old daughter both want to have My Space accounts. All of their friends have them and it seems like the "in" thing. Instinctually I don't like the idea. I'd appreciate your thoughts.
A: My thoughts are no, and no. Trust your instincts here. Just because all of their friends have My Space accounts doesn't mean that your kids should have them. Some parents think that such social networking websites are harmless. Some don't like the idea but cave to the pleading of their children. If your instincts as a mother are telling you that it is wrong for your kids, go with that feeling. You know your kids better than anyone.
My own son is 16 and has never had a My Space account, or an account with any of the other social networking websites. We see to it that his social networking is of the face to face variety: hanging with friends, sports and hobby activities, school functions, and so on.
It was in the news recently that over 29,000 sex offenders were removed from the My Space database. I assume that that is 29,000 REGISTERED sex offenders. What about the ones not registered, not caught, and who haven't as yet acted but are seeking victims? You know at a glance if a 13 year old girl or boy is really a 13 year old boy or girl, and not a grown man pretending to be a peer. Online, it is hard to tell, if not impossible. Why take the chance? What is it that your children could gain from joining a social networking website? They will want to spend hours building their page, looking at the websites of their friends, adding friends, chatting, and so on. That time could be better spent in doing things with their peers in real life. If there are no clubs or activities in your area, talk to some other parents in your area and see what you can arrange. Even if it is just letting kids hang out at your house, that is much better than socializing online.
Wednesday, July 25, 2007
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
3 comments:
In a perfect world, telling your kids NO works. Unfortunately, our world is not quite so perfect. Kids go to friends houses and even to the public library, coffee shops, and so many other places - and can use those computers to sign up on MYSPACE and others.
I find it more important and useful, especially when concerning tweens and teens, to explain what is going on, why you dont want them to have such things, the dangers involved, why you feel so emphatic about your opinion, etc. and be sure the lines of communication are open.
You cannot be with your children every minute of the day, and certainly cannot control everything they do. I have found that the best defense is honesty and openness. Teach your children rules, manners and ethics, and when it comes to it, they will make the right choices.
I have three boys- 25, 21 and 18. All are very involved in the computer world and have been since my oldest was 4, two of them have professional careers in the computer industry.
As parents, we have the right, and responsibility, to tell our kids NO when we feel it is in their best interests. They may, or may not, disobey. We deal with that if or when it happens. Because they might do something despite our NO, doesn't mean that we equivocate. We can explain our reasons, sure. This is a good teaching moment. We can say NO and give our reasons.
Thanks for reading and for your comments.
Julie Clark aka
The Mean Mom
Love you kids enough to NO them!
I think it's not a good idea to ban Myspace. Forbidden fruit is sweetest you know. They still will be looing for a way to manage it. Personally, I allow to spend time on MySpace only when I’m at home. I built software Ez Internet Timer to set time limits on the kids' Internet activity in case I’m out. I think that it’s very important to havу a healthy relationship with your children and spend time with them while they’re online and educate them about Internet safety. It will go much further in keeping your child safe online.
Post a Comment