Chores for 13-year-old ADHD son

Q: Can you give me some idea of what chores my 13-year-old ADHD son could do?

A: Once upon a time ago my son was 13, and was diagnosed as ADHD in elementary school. So I can say as a matter of fact that your 13-year-old son, ADHD or not, can do just about any chore you were capable of at 13. You may want to limit cooking, unless under your supervision, for a time.

He could vacuum, dust, clean windows, clean the bathrooms, mop floors...the list is endless.

For any child, ADHD or not, you can make it easier for them. When adults go into the workforce, there is usually some training involved. There's a place for everything, and everything is in its place. Appraoch the matter of chores in much the same way: Train him in one chore at a time. Show him what products to use, where rags are kept, and where to put them after they've been used. In the case of a messy job, such as cleaning windows, show him how to put down a drop cloth or newspapers.

Have all supplies in one general area. In the case of cleaning a bathroom or other multi-step jobs, write out the steps on an index card and put it on a bulletin board in the supplies area, or get a file box similar to recipe boxes. Write out all of the steps and the equipment/products needed for each job.

Let your son know what time you want him to start the job. If he neglects his chores, then you can implement the rule of "You can do what you want to do when you've done what you're supposed to do. Until he does his chores, he should not read, watch TV, talk on the phone, etc. Responsibilities before pleasure.

And if anyone thinks that an ADHD teen cannot do chores, then I would suggest renting the 1960's version of "The Miracle Worker," the story of Helen Keller. Helen, after an illness as a baby, was left Deaf and blind, and could not speak. She was wild, to say the least. There was talk of institutionalizing her. But once her teacher, Annie Sullivan, got her behavior issues under control, Helen was not only able to learn, but excelled all of her life. She learned multiple languages, including Latin, in Braille. She wrote books and travelled extensively, even abroad.

If Helen Keller, with her multiple handicaps, can learn and achieve, certainly a child diagnosed as ADHD, who is not Deaf and blind, can learn and can contribute. If Helen Keller were alive today, she may well have also been slapped with labels...and what a loss to society that would have been!

Copyright 2008 Julie P. Clark
Julie answers parenting questions in the members-only area of DrDaveStein.com

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